Not a laughing fecal matter

Speaking as your regular obsessive-compulsive... I am, admittedly, a persistent hand washer. On average, maybe 30 times a day - before/after food, after a pee/poo, right after any bloody time I travel on the train/bus, after someone shakes my hand etc. Anything sticky on any part of my hand (orange juice is the most horrifying) is usually met with a demented squawk and a rush to the bathroom. Yes, yes, I know it's pathetic, but washing hands after coming in contact with others - crucially before scratching your nose/eyes - I find is also a good way of cutting down on colds. Anyway, it still comes as a shock to hear that in a study of people swabbed in public places around the UK, that so many people have - and I cringe even when saying this - 'fecal* matter' on their hands - as high as 53% in Newcastle (you complete mingers!).

However, living in Japan, it doesn't really surprise me as a reluctant observer of many men who exit toilets without washing their hands. It's an astonishingly revolting habit but I have a theory: Japanese men, after having farted, groaned and plopped their way through a noisy dump, have no intention of standing around washing their hands whilst everyone else can get a good look at the guilty groaner. That's the reason why they exit the cubicle and head straight outside to their wife, family, friends, etc to pass on their fecal matter. Another theory is that they're simply dirty fucking pigs is also one I haven't entirely discounted.

To be read with rubber gloves:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7667499.stm

*Fecal can also be spelt faecal, obviously.